Rich People Know How to Rest (Pillow Style)

Rich people LOVE their pillows; especially the kind that are just fancy and can’t be slept on. Missus has 4 bedrooms to decorate in the home, and every room has a king-sized bed. On every bed is a $1,000 feather mattress topper. On top of that are the Egyptian Cotton sheets, down comforter and matching (ugly) bed ensemble worth thousands of dollars. Each bed ensemble has AT LEAST a dozen decorative pillows. In her own room, her pillow count is 20.

When I make her bed, the first thing I have to do is round up all of the pillows off the floor surrounding, and under, her bed.  I don’t understand stacking up so many UNUSABLE pillows on a bed just to throw them on the floor a few hours later. But then again, I’m not rich, so I’m sure I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Missus is very particular about the placement of each pillow.  She has taken a picture of each “perfect” bed and placed the picture in the right nightstand drawer of each room, so I get it just right. Sometimes she will come in after I have made a bed and ever-so-slightly rearrange the pillows by an inch or two. She tells me each room is a work of art with the bed as it’s centerpiece. If that’s the case, it would seem more people would want to sleep (and have sex) on Warhol’s, Picasso’s and Michelangelo’s. I’m thinking that would be just as uncomfortable as a bunch of useless decorative pillows.

Imagine this except with twice as many pillows and even uglier. THAT is what I have to work with.